Zelda: Link's Genocide
by Captain ButtTon
Summary: Link has had enough of the world wanting to be saved... he will now destroy it. WARNING: extremely gruesome content, read at own risk


All was normal in Kokiri forest when Saria ran to Link and said "Yahoo! Hi bitch!". Link, annoyed, backflipped off his entranceway down to the whore and ripped her clothes off, bended her over and started furiously fucking her with his massive 15-inch cock while deeply fisting her ass with one hand while choking her with the other. As Link came into her, blood and sperm exploded out of her stomach, since it couldn't come out of anywhere else.

Link then went to get the sword. He has had enough of being the Hero of Time and wanted to become the Hero of Crime. To start off, he was going to kill and cum on all the Kokiris. He stopped the boulder and pushed it out of the way with his dick.

After getting the sword, he went for the battle training guy. "Hey, let's work on some moves!" He said. Before he could tell Link for the billionth time the most obvious shit in the game if you're a speedrunner, he stabbed the fucker in the heart and then proceeded to thrust his cock deep into the wound. After he came into it, Link ripped his heart off, effectively getting a new Heart Container, that he shoved up his massive inventory (aka his ass).

He then went for the Know-it-All Brothers, who were known to be secretly gay. It was obvious since the intense buttfucking could be heard by the whole village every fucking night. When Link entered the house, he saw them fisting eachother on the ground with their feet, forming some kind of trforce-shaped human incest orgy. "Oh Link, come fuck with us!" Said the Know-it-All Buttfuckers, aroused by seeing the love of their life come in their house. They all went around Link with their shitty feet and their asses opened wider than Uranus. Link performed a quickspin and cut their heads off. He then fucked inside their severed heads and bodies and proudly came inside each of them.

He then came down the hill to see the stupid piece of shit girl that always brags about her whoreness. "Oh, a fairy finally came to you! Now you have a lot to learn, fucker!" she told Link the other day. He forced his fist in her mouth, ripping off her vocal cords. He then bent her over 180 degrees, ripping off her ligaments. He took out his bloody dick and started fucking her in the cunt. The feeling of his giant cock ripping off her vaginal tissues made him even harder than ever before. For the final blow, he was about to shove his Kokiri sword up her ass, but his dick girth grew so big it ripped her in two.

Next was the rock humper. He is a mentally insane Kokiri who claims to like nature, but he's actually a sick fucker who just wants to have sex with unanimated objects. Link kicked him right on the jaw making him fall back and lose half his teeth. He then started fucking him in the dickhole. The tree fucker actually enjoyed it, like the sick fuck he is. In fact, they both came at the same time, which felt really weird (as if this whole situation wasn't fucking weird at all). So Link removed his dick from his dick, which caused the sick perverted fucknut to piss an extreme amount of urine. Link punched him in the face repeatedly while gouging his eyes out. He then ripped off the fucker's cock with his teeth and ate the whole thing. The time it took to literally eat his cock was enough for the tree assfucker to die happily out of blood loss.

The Kokiri girl next to him saw all of the rampage he caused and she started panicking. She died by drowning in the pool next to her because she's a dumb fucking whore. Link took the body and came inside of it. When he ate the dick of the tree fucker, he felt a new cannibalistic instinct come out of him, so he felt he had to cut her in pieces and shove her in his inventory hole, which he did. Meanwhile, Navi woke up and noticed the dead corpses lying all around the Forest. She flew to Link in panic and noticed all the blood on his tunic. She gasped as Link grabbed the annoying shithead and forced his middle finger in her asshole. After 5 minutes of extreme thrusting, she finally gave in and moaned "Oh Link, faster!". Link, annoyed by her constant mumbling during their whole fucking adventures together, bit her head off. He then furiously masturbated on her lifeless body and came a shitload of cum.

Fado saw the inhuman killing spree and tried to run. Fado is a stupid fucking twat that stands on her platform all day and dumps her ass on people. Since nobody comes near her anymore, she's been holding her shit for 5 years. As she carefully walked on the bridge, she turned her head up to look and saw Link right in front of her. Before the dumb blonde bitch could say any kind of bullshit, Link threw her down the bridge. She landed right on her fat asshole and shit came out of it like a fountain. The shock of the shitting severed her spinal cord, turning her into the perfect sex slave for Link. He jumped down and watched her as she was desperately trying to crawl from him. He pulls her hips up and violently fucks her like there's no tomorrow. She didn't seem to feel anything, so Link started whamming her on the ground like the horny animal he is. He then rotated her and his roflcopter went SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI. Blood, shit and eventually cum was flying everywhere outwards. Finally, he ripped off her skin and left her a stalfos. Everybody, Stalfos.

The grass cutter was next to them, but he was too busy molesting the grass to notice the carnage. Link rips Saria's house sign off the ground and shoved it up the fucker's asshole, which made him fall down in complete pain. He then tried to light a bunch of grass on fire by clenching his teeth very tight together. It didn't work, so he shoved the grass and his dick up the gardener's mouth and he fucked it so hard it caught on fire. He stood up and started running with the sign still up his ass, but the oxygen coming from his screams only made the fire go even more lively. While running, he hit the house of Twins AKA the Whore house, which spread the whole fire. The Kokiri Twin ran out of the house on fire like a bitch. They went like that for one minute until they collapsed next to eachother. Link started masturbating to the burned bodies and came a human volume's worth of white goo all over the gardener and the Twin Whore, which extinguished the fire.

Next, he went to go shopping, since he needed more accessories for his awesome pwnage killing spree. He rushed to the shop when some superhuman force stopped him and he heard "Hi, Link! Look this way!". He looked up and it was the stupid worthless sack of shit that always wanted a fucking talk everytime he went shopping. He climbed on the right root of the tree and backflipped on the platform where the idiot is. "OH MY GOD, LINK!" she squealed "Did you come here to have sex with me?". She then proceeds to rip her clothes off and spread her useless, deformed legs that she formed out of sitting on this rigid, rotten platform for too long. As she was getting ready to awkwardly realise her wet dreams on this tiny platform, Link kicked her right in the poontang. He hit it so hard that his boot went inside of it and then she fell down. This is what girls should be doing when Link saves them. The reminder of the lack of sex during his adventures made him even angrier. He jumpslashes down and cuts her in two vertically. He won't even cum on this one.

He goes inside the Kokiri Shop. The shopkeeper is a perverted macho. He bought this giant-ass 1000-rupee counter so he can do work outs and also masturbate secretly to the Kokiri girl that stays in his shop all day because she's too fucking dumb to find her way home. "This shop...it sells useless shit that you can get in the forest for free! Tee hee!" she says with a retarded sounding laugh. Link grabbed her and put her confused whore body on the counter. He grabs the stool to the right and drags it to where she is. He then stands up on the stool and inserts his monster in her asshole. At this point his dick was so soaked in blood from the killing spree that it slid in well, so to make her feel pain he shakes her head violently up and down on the other side of the counter which made her ass muscles retract, making his cock feel even better.

The shopkeeper watched the scene and realized this was going to be his moment of glory. He takes the stool to the girl, stands on it and waits around five minutes to get an erection without success. Suddenly, the Kokiri girl starts puking on the shopkeeper's dick from all the head shaking she had and he immediately gets an extreme boner. He starts fucking her in the mouth with his vomit-filled cock, which made the Kokiri girl puke even more. As everyone were about to cum, Link chopped the guy's dick off with the Kokiri Sword and it started spurting out blood and cum on the girl's face. Link then came inside of the girl and inserted his hand in the guy's dick and dragged him to his side. He cut the steroid muncher's two arms and shoved them up his ass. Link then stretched the guy's dickhole and went inside of him. He ate his organs, stabbed him from the inside and, of course, came inside of him. He went to fuck the half-conscious girl once more. He then cut off her flat nipples and cunt and feasted on them.

Link then went outside and realized the carnage he has caused. No Kokiri child was left alive. There was one more living thing that needed to die: the Dick Tree. He set it on fire using a Deku Stick, watching as the flames engulf the tree, crying in pain. This is literally the edgiest thing I've ever written. What the fuck.


End file.
